I still see my dad at times. But at random times, because when he asks to hangout with me i’ll end up waiting for him at the mall or something then he’ll text me saying he can’t make it. My relationship with my dad has changed a lot. I use to actually like hanging with him, father and son. but now i don’t really care. Sounds bad i know, but whenever he tells me hes going to see me, i don’t look forward to it cause i’m use to him not being able to come. my mom and dad have been separated since i was in gr.8. he left on christmas eve. my parents have been fighting ever since i was a little kid. i always thought it was just about him gambling and losing a lot of money because of it. But my mom told me the other things he did back when i was in gr.7. My close friends know about what he did, i just dont want to say it on tumblr lol. 

anyways I worry about my dad at times tho. i dont know where he lives, and i dont know if he even works. he lives in the same city but i just dont exactly know where he is. all i know is hes always with a friend or at a friends house. when my parents separated i thought it’d be like how other kids had it when they’re parents were divorced. like sometimes on the weekends i’d stay at my dads place or something. but nah. 

i remember one time in gr.9 i straight up told my dad he really fucked up. i told him it sucks how he isnt there anymore. i told him how it hurts knowing me and my sister are going to end up growing up with out him there living with us. after that i didnt talk to him or see him for a year. but then my mom told me that no matter what hes still my dad and i cant stay mad at him forever. its not that im mad at my dad or anything right now. i just miss how things were when i was younger. 

i dont know what else to say in this. but dad, i hope you change your life soon.